Sexy Soul Eater
by BirdswithCrayons
Summary: This is just something my friend Kyra and I made when we were bored. Sorry that the words are all mashed together but it won't let me fix it. Oh well.
1. Chapter 1

**Kidd's First Love**

(Black Star) ((randomly walking past random door in random hallway in the random DWMA random dormitory random part of the random school))

(Kidd) ((on other side of the door)) oh…ohgod…..OHGOD YES.

(Black Star) ((stops)) WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT IT SOUNDED LIKE THE LESS AMAZING KIDD

(Kidd) ((weird moaning noises)) Yesss….ohgod yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeessss.

(Black Star) HEY NOW. ((staring intently at the door.

(Kidd) ohbaby yes.

(Black Star) Baby? THE ONLY BABY HE SHOULD HAVE IS THE SEXY AND AMAZING ME. ((does random flips)) BLACK STAR. BASK IN MY GLORY! ((stands and waits for everyone (no one) to bask in glory))

(Kidd) YESSSSSSS! ((screams with pleasure))

(Black Star) NO KIDD I LOVE YOU. THAT SHOULD Be…..that should be me in there ((cries))

(Soul) ((eye twitches)) Wth Black star?

(Black Star) ((jumps up and scratches head)) Oh hey Soul!

(Soul) What's Kidd doing in there? ((stares wide eyed))

(Kidd) OH MY GOD YOUR SO AMAZING. YES. ((more screams of pleasure))

(Black Star) I think I may have and idea. ((turns and cries))

(Soul) ((falls to knees)) I've had dreams of this….except I was the one instead of whoever's in there…. ((cries with Black Star))

(Kidd) ((walks out with empty pizza box.)) Hey guys.

(Black Star) KIDD! WHAT ON EARTH!

(Kidd) ((stares)) What? I was just eating pizza.

(Soul) ((angry)) OH YEAH? THEN WHATS WITH ALL THE MOANING?

(Kidd) ((blushes)) it was the most symmetrical pizza I've ever seen on the face of this planet…everything…the 8 even mushrooms, the 8 even pepperoni..thee… ((looks down at pants and voice squeaks)) I gotta go change again! ((runs off))

(Black Star and Soul) …..

**To Be Continued.- Kyra**

**How grim reapers say hello**

(what daddy and kiddo's reunion should have been like)

(Kidd) ((is rearranging medicine bottles in infirmary)) damn. There's only one of these! Its hopeless! Im garbage! An abomination! A real shinigami would be able to find another matching bottle!

(Daddy) ((walks in)) Kidd?

(Kidd) ((magically twirls to face him)) Father! ((notices a giant crack down his mask)) Father! What happened! Are you okay?

(Daddy) ((is dramatically in front of him. Hugs)) I missed you

(Kidd) ((surprise. Blush)) I-I missed you too father.

(Daddy) ((strokes head)) I REALLY missed you

(Kidd) Um. Dad.u can let go now. I get it u missed me.

(Daddy) ((rubbing back)) I love you.

(Kidd) ((sigh))

(Daddy) do u want to go bac to the death room?

(Kidd) carry me

(Daddy) ((goes to pick up))

(Kidd) SYMETRICALLY!

(Daddy) oh shut up kidd. You wont be very symmetrical anyway when I get done with you.

(Kidd) No! it has to be prefect every time!

(Soul) ((also in the infirmary)) . . .

**To be continued. Kylie**

**The Continuation Of Kyra's First Sexy Soul Eater Story.**

(Kidd) ((walks down dark ally))

(Blair) ((hides behind random trash can))

(Kidd) Oh god that was amazing.

(Blair) ((sticks one ear up (in cat form btw)))

(Kidd) ((licks lips)) I can't get the taste out.

(Blair) ((scrunches up nose))

(Kidd) The whole time was so….amazing…and –says in seductive voice- _symmetrical_. ((weird noise from mouth that is too weird to pass as a moan.))

(Blair) that's it. ((Turns human and purrs.))

(Kidd) (was on way home to change pants.) ((covers pants)) WHAT WAS THAT?

(Blair) ((pounces)) Hello Kidd!

(Kidd) ((falls to ground)) NO DON'T LOOK AT MY ASYMMETRICAL MESS….I didn't mean too….

(Blair) I'm taking you back to my place ((evil smile))

(Kidd) BUT IT'S SO UNSYMMETRICAL THERE! ((screams))

(with Blair in a very uncomfortable situation that I just may let you use your imagination with)

(Kidd) AKJHFUIFHJK LEHFKALEJLHEKJ ((nosebleed))

(Blair) Now was that better than that filthy whore you were with earlier.

(Kidd) ((cries)) NO. EATING THAT PIZZA WAS MUCH MORE SYMETRICAL

(Blair) ((eye twitches)) so…..I just…..

(Kidd) ((whimpers))

**The End. –Kyra**

**A Continuation of Kylie's First Sexy Soul Eater **

(Kidd) ((runs out of death room. Screaming btw. And um. . . . trying to put back on clothes))

(Daddy) kidd wait! We can work something out! You can be on top this time!

(Kidd) get away from me! ((stops)) I'll be back later! ((runs away))

(Maka) ((see's a more than a little half naked Kidd running out of death room)) Hey Kidd!

(Kidd) Don't look at me! Im even more asymmetrical than I was before! Look at this! ((points to hair))

(Maka) PUT YOUR PANTS BACK ON!

(Kidd) ((looks down)) why?

(Maka) its indecent!

(Kidd) oh common! Everyone else seems okay with it!

(everyone is staring, drooling and taking pictures)

(Maka) well. . . . . now that you mention it. . . . .

(Kidd) ((puts on pants))

(Maka) NO!

(everyone else) ((screams of sadness))

(Kidd) Im going back home so I can fold my toilet paper

(Maka) Oh I'll fold your toilet paper! Right here! Right now!

(Kidd) U disgust me!

(Maka) Oh yea I do! Call me a Filthy whore!

(Kidd) dear god not you too! ((runs))

(Maka) ((grabs))

(Kidd) help! ((to the people))

(people) ((also grab))

(Daddy) yay! Orgy party! Me first!

((scream))

**To be continued. Kylie.**

****

(Tsubaki) Oh Kidd. You're so dreamy. ((hearts in eyes)) ((wakes up from dream and sighs))

(Black Star) TSUBAKI STOP TALKING IN YOUR SLEEP I KNOW YOU LOVE ME AND DREAM ABOUT ME BUT GOSH. ((winks and licks lips))

(Tsubaki) uhhhhhhhhh ((eye twich)) No. just no.

(Black Star) ((Blushes)) I knew it. Your going for the enemy. You want something better…like…((cries)) EXCALIBUR!

(Tsubaki) ((slowly backs away)) oh god no. not him again. I SWEAR IT WAS ONE TIME.

(Black Star) ((cries)) I know. I saw you two.

(Tsubaki) IT WAS JUST TEA ONE TIME. OKAY? WE HAD TEA TOGETHER ONE TIME.

(Black Star) YOU WHORE. I KNEW IT.

(Tsubaki) ((cries)) I know…I wanted fried chicken instead…but…but I let him have what he wanted….((cries more)) I HATE TEA!

(Black Star) It's ok Tsubaki….We know how giving you are.

(Tsubaki) ((Gets out picture of Kidd)) I know I am….I know….it's all cause of Kidd.

(Black Star) I know it's me…wait THE PIZZA DUDE? MY LOVER? What….you heard nothing Tsubaki.

(Tsubaki) It's told me about you two crying together. You're such a manly assassin. ((hugs)) It's going to be ok. I heard they all got kid in the death room. Maka caught him with his pants off and was hypnotized by his Kiddness. No one could resist. We've caught him finally Black Star! ((Disney Princess voice)) LET'S _GO!_

(In Death room with Tsubaki and Black Star)

(Stein) You…..you all are too late.

(Spirit) AH THAT WAS FUN! ((Is drunk))

(Maka) I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DID THAT DAD ((smack))

(Spirit) I'm sorry Maka…..he was just so…Deathical.

(Stein) I want to dissect him again…and again…and again…..

(Zombie Sid) OH YEAH BABY OH YEAH! THAT WAS GREAT SO REFRESHING. THAT WASN'T THE TYPE OF MAN I WAS.

(Medusa) ((Shakes head)) I can't believe it. ((smiles))

(Crona) What am I doing here?

(Kidd) …I can't believe it…THEY THREW ME A SURPRISE PARTY!

(Spirit) WITH A KEG STAND!

(Maka) ((Slaps))

(Stein) And bunches of frogs ((smiles))

(Zombie Sid) Karaoke man karaoke

(Medusa) I didn't know I could dance like that!

(Crona) WHAT AM I DOING HERE? I really don't think I can handle this ((eats cake))

(Death) ((comes out disappointed)) I thought it was an orgy…..

(Tsubaki) I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU MADE ME MISS ANOTHER SURPRISE PARTY ((cries))

(Liz and Patty) ((walks up)) We weren't invited?

(Liz) ((Walks to Kidd and cuts of piece of bangs))

(Kidd) ((Cries))

(Black Star) ((walks with Death)) I thought so too buddy…I thought so too…..

(Soul) ((still in infirmary))…..

**See. Sometimes we're not that perverted!**

**The End -Kyra**

**This is the last part of whatever Kylie was writing.**

(Kidd) ((runs into infirmary and falls))

(Soul) hi

(Kidd) hi ((sits up))

(Soul) so um. . . . how'd that thing with your dad go?

(Kidd) well the first hour was absolutely terrible but after that I got some butt stitches and we all had a big surprise party for. . . . some reason

(Soul) can you do me a favor?

(Kidd) uh. . . yea sure I guess.. . what did you have in mind?

(Soul) ((gets out of bed and walks up to him)) PULL MY TRIGGER!

**The End. Kylie**


	2. Chapter 2

**Sexy Soul Eater 2**

**Lovely Daddy chainsaw Justin**

((daddy and Justin in the death room with a chainsaw(gircco)))

Daddy: and then there was a huge explosion and Kidd was like 'save me daddy!' and then I was like 'Yes! Yes!' and that's then end of my fanfic!

Justin: ((is quiet))

Daddy: Well what do you think?

Gircco: ((disappears))

Daddy: Justin?

Justin: my lord.

Daddy: Yes! Now do you think I should end it with the easter bunny bit or the sacrifice to asura?

Justin: My Lord!

Daddy: Justin!

Justin: MY LORD! WHAT'S WRONG WITH U! SPEAK TO ME!

Daddy: . . .

Justin: MOUTH TO MOUTH! ((leans in and grabs daddy's face))

Daddy: As turning on as this situation is. . . ((smacks))

Justin: ((is quiet)) . . . . . Feisty!

**To be Continued (****Kylie)**

**Stop Messin' With Dem Britches.**

((dramatic soap opera music plays as we enter the DWMA classroom))

Stien: ((finishes long speech about Kishins and sees movement from Black Star)) Black Star! What are you doing? ((pelvic thrusts to move rollie chair))

Black Star: ((stares wide-eyed)) NOTHING.

Stein: ((brow furrows)) mhm. No. What are you doing?

Kidd: ((coughs awkwardly)) He's messing with his britches.

Stein: What? ((eye twitch)) ((sees same movement from Kidd))

Soul: He said, 'He's messing with his britches.'

Stein: ((feels akward itchy sensation in britches and sees same movement from Soul)) whoa. What?

Maka: Stein. Stop messing with your britches too. ((messes with britches.))

Stein: ((stands up and yells)) WHATS GOING ON HERE? ((itches….a spot in britches))

Blair: ((walks in)) EVERYONE I HAVE CRABS.

**The end. (Kyra)**

**Soul plus Maka minus Blair equals Kidd**

Soul: ((standing up in bathtub))

Maka: ((walks in)) what are you doing? ((not noticing soul's nakedness))

Soul: Maka! I thought you were out cooking waffles for the homeless!

Maka: They tried to eat my bag so I left. . . . . ((now staring at souls whoa inappropriate word))

Soul: Im try to catch this bird

Maka: Bird?

Soul: yea! I was taking a bath when Blair walked in with this bird and then she let it go and was all like catch it and I'll do something for you. So now I'm trying to catch it because I think that it has to do with eating something.

Blair: ((walks in)) Maka! Soul have you caught that bird yet?

Maka: ((stabs Blair in face))

Blair: ((dies in the face))

Kidd: ((walks in and stares at Soul)) Is that a banana in your skin or are you just having an ejection to my sexiness?

Maka: ((wide eyed)) It's Kidd! ((grabs))

Kidd: ((stabs in face))

Maka: ((falls to ground with Blair))

Kidd: Well then Soul ((walks)) this was going to happen again sooner or later so- OMG! A bird! ((grabs bird))

Soul: Hey that's mine!

Kidd: ((bites off birds head then holds bloody bird carcass out to Soul))

Soul: . . . . uh. . . . . you can have it

**The End(Kylie)**

**Stein and Spirit, the forbidden love.  
**

Stein: ((runs after Spirit)) Spirit! Spirit wait!

Spirit: ((Slowly turns around, wind blowing through hair…..even though they're in an empty hallway at the DWMA)) What Stein?

Stein: ((realizes Spirit is mad)) I'm….I'm sorry I tried to dissect you earlier, and all those times when we were little… ((eyes tear up)) I don't want to lose a friend like you over something like this.

Spirit: ((slowly walks towards Stein)) It's okay buddy. I…I love you.

Stein: ((Cheers up)) Oh really! ((Jumps up and down)) Yay! I love you too buddy ol' pal ((playfully punches))

Spirit: ((Grabs Stein by shoulders.)) No Stein. I love you. Like legit love. Not buddy love. _LOVE._ ((Screams)) LOOOOOVE.

Stein: ((Stares wide-eyed)) Love? R-really?

Spirit: ((Licks Stein's face)) Yes. Love.

Stein: ((Blushes)) No one other than Marie has really loved me before…I feel so…..turned on! Oh golly gee Spirit….I LOVE YOU TOO!

Spirit: ((Grabs Stein by wrist)) Ok, The kids don't arrive for another hour. Lord Death and Justin are probably writing their yaoi filled fan fics in the Death room, and the other faculty is in a meeting that we're supposed to be in but who cares. I'ma take you to the janitor's closet. ((Smirks))

Stein: ((Starts stuttering)) Y-you m-mean….?

Lord Death: ((Pops up in random mirror behind Stein and sees the two making out)) Whoa whoa whoa! ((takes pictures for yaoi book))

Justin: ((Yells)) STEIN AND SPIRIT I'VE BEEN SENT BY OUR LORD DEATH TO FETCH YOU FOR AN IMPORTANT MEETING AND WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TWO DOING?  
Spirit: ((jumps back in alarm)) Nothing! He…..He had a…..crumpet on his face! And It looked good! And he couldn't get it off…so…I helped by eating it off his face….it's not what it looks like!

Stein: ….((awkward cough))

Marie: ((walks up and slaps Stein))

Stein: What was that for? ((sadface))

Marie: I gave you AIDS.

Spirit: …..

Justin:…

Death: this is getting good.

Marie: I lied.

Spirit: Good.

Stein: Yeah.

Death: Your all fired.

Justin: WHAT?

Death: ((seductive voice)) not you Justin.

Marie: WHY?

Death: For not giving Stein AIDS and making Spirit and Stein's relationship less exciting.

Everyone:…..

Soul: ((randomly in infirmary across the school like in the last SSE volume.)) …W…..T…..F.

**The End (Kyra:3)**

**I love you all. And you're obsessions towards really awkward and yet hot and disturbing fictions about soul eater. Especially your yaoi obsession. Yes I know about it. It's ok. (Love, Kyra)**


End file.
